what literally everyone had been telling me ahead of my move here was how delicious the food is. as someone who aspires to never have to cook a day in their life, i took it upon myself to spend my first twelve days eating out as much as possible and can confirm the food has been overall banging.
here’s twelve things i’ve had!
vegemite on sourdough at my friend’s house
this was the first thing i ate here and i actually loved it. i can’t name you how it’s different from marmite but it is different and it is also better. bread was great too. also just a really nice comforting meal (had w a coffee) to have right after a 33 million hours long plane ride.
8/10
baked eggs at the auction rooms
ok on the menu these were “baked eggs in a chorizo, red peppers and tomato sauce. with zucchini, kipfler potato, scamorza cheese, grilled garlic bread and a pistachio duhkkah” which sounds pretentious but fucking delicious. the result was definitely pretentious and not very delicious. couldn’t rly taste the chorizo, the courgettes were a bit hard, overall the whole thing was a bit bland and stupidly overpriced ($28?!?!?!??!)
staff was cute, vibes were average gentrifying cafe.
4/10
hazelnut frangipane and crystallised ginger morning bun with coffee at all are welcome
googled ‘best cafe near me’ after a house viewing in northcote and this place came up. i thought the name was so fucking cringe but the reviews were great. was kinda disappointed that it wasn’t like a sit down cafe cause i had my laptop on me BUT i was desperate for a coffee and the man in front of me ordered a morning bun so i did too and omg this was like one of the best baked goods i have had IN MY LIFE ! it was flakey & moist and the flavours were just rly great like simple but also kinda exciting. coffee was great too.
vibe of the cafe was jarring, it was saturday morning and i was surrounded by the most insufferable 32-year-old straight white couples but i’m only judging the food so…
10/10 i’m sorry it was acc unreal
big brekkie burger at mcdonalds
this was maybe on day 2? woke up at stupid o’ clock cause of jetlag so called bestie and went on a walk and got mcdonalds breakfast and ate it in front of them.
experience was great (think i should become a mukbang girly lowkey) but the burger was grim. too many elements and kinda slimy? and a bit bland too?
3/10
pork floss jaffle at udom house
this place was so so so so cute. cute decorations, airy, big windows good for people watching if you’re eating by yourself. had this with a thai tea which was AMAZING but this was just okay imo… consistency was good, a nice flake but the flavour just didn’t bang enough for me.
6/10
assortment of pastries at bread club
these were INSANE. like i’m getting excited just at the thought of them again.
that rhubarb little thing? FUCKED UP! perfect ratio of filling vs pastry and the filling was perfectly spiced and the pastry was perfectly made.
that donut? UNREAL! the filling was delicious and the donut was soft and perfect
that cookie? OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD! that little salt at the top? amazing. the chocolate filling? fab. could have had 20.
that saffron cake? fine lol a little dry but i was so ovewhelmed by how good everything else was i didn’t really care
I was starving when i had these tbh but I think they are lowkey best pastries i’ve ever had in my life
10/10
maccaruni at bar idda
had these also with baked eggplant and roast potatoes and everything was really good. wine too. also it was my first group dinner so in general vibes were solid and i was excited!
pasta was somewhat unnecessarily al dente (fight me) but apart from that no complaints!
8/10
ricotta hotcakes at archie’s all day
first of all this place, like most cafes, shuts at 3pm lol so idk why it says all day. i’m so mad at the opening times here!
i got these cause the table next to me had them and they looked super inviting. they were GORGEOUS! like really really pretty. really good flavour too but it just needed some fruit element or something to break off all the creamy sweet vibes as it was a bit samey throughout.
7/10
croissant at lune croissanterie
ok so this is a viral croissant place where there’s normally an insane queue. the place was INSANE, like super super big fancy vibes. i felt like i was on the menu. they also had this massive counter but there was only 4 items on there which looked stupid lol
my expectations were HIGH but it was actually a little meh.
i went 10 mins before closing time so i feel like maybe the croissant had been sitting there for a while. will try go in the morning and see if they’re better.
5.5/10
saltfish fried dumplings, pork bun and wintermelon drink at shandong mama mini
ok i wanna come back to this place w at least one other person because i feel like the dumplings are meant to be shared not for one person lol
dumplings were FAB. nice consistency, good filling, substantial. wish i’d had the option of mix & matching the eight cause eight of the same got a little boring.
the wintermelon drink was AMAZING! like fresh and delicious and not too sweet.
and that little pork bun? that girl. the best pork bun i’ve ever had in my life. meat was juicy, rly nice seasoned. like i think if i’m ever in that area i will deffo pop in every time to get one.
dumplings: 8/10
drink: 9/10
pork bun: 1000/10
yakult melon and pink dragonfruit ice cream at ca-rem gelato
i wanted to try allllll the flavours here (they had coconut pandan, durian, salted kumquat…..) and deffo wanna come back. place was super cute!
the yakult melon flavour was amazing - creamy, not too sweet.
the pink dragonfruit i was rly excited about and it was good, not amazing.
really generous amount of ice cream too!
8/10
40 chicken nuggets at mcdonalds
popped into mcdonalds after my first date, saw these on the menu and thought it was absolutely deranged.
the day after, i was sharing them with 3 faggots at 6am after leaving a trashy gay bar.
100000000000000000/10
10/10 content x
omg i am SAT, yakult melon ice cream??? crystallised ginger morning bun?? huge fan of this content update !!!!